An interview with Digambar Kamat

This interview is a work of fiction.

“There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who are “Aam Adaami”. And those who shall become ‘Aaam Adaami’.” ——Sonia Bandhi

Interviewer: We welcome wholeheartedly our Chief Minister  for this interview. It was very kind of him to give away some important time for us despite the fact that he had some major and critical tasks before hand like saving his government.  Welcome Sir.

DK : Thank You. For the existence and survival of Aam Aadami it is important that I remain the chief minister. I am very selfless, I have no interest in this chair but as u must be knowing I am doing all this for ‘Aam Adaami’.

Intv: What has changed since you have become chief minister besides your and your fellow ministers bank balance ?

DK: Its is not only my bank balance that has changed but even the aam adami’s bank balance has changed significantly.

Intv : yes thats true! Only differece that for aam adami the change is negative!

DK: Well teh sign is a tiny things it doesn’t matter. We should have a long term view. Since i have become in power, WellI never had actual power as such but still. My era will be marked by great intellectual ferment and socio-political change in Goa. With unbridled economic liberalization strengthening the people at root level (unholy cabal of politicians in villages – Ed.) and social servants (moneyed ruffians -Ed.).

Intv: i think by intellectual ferement you mean all the arguments on SEZ, Land Scandals etc etc?

DK: Aam Adami needs employement. SEZ would have given it.

Intv : But most of the companies would recruit outsiders?

DK: NO NO ! Aam adami doesnt need to work in the companies. Aam Adami is poor and has less education you know. He could open a Gado outside these companies sell Rassa Omlet and Wada Pav.

Intv : But Gado in Goa are currently dominated by Bihari and UP guys already ?

DK: We have rehabilitation plan for them!

Intv : How insightful!! You mean you are sending them back to UP Bihar?

DK: We earlier has plans of that sort but considering the cost involved in sending them back to their state (and votes in my own constituency) we worked out a better plan. We will allow them to Run the company canteens in SEZ.

Intv : Thats a marvolous plan. While aam adami get employement even the Bihari and UP guys will get employement.

DK: Yeah and government will strongly propose that the waitors and sweepers in these companies should be strictly Goans. There are over 3000 graduates unemployed, they need to get some work.

Intv : How did you get such wonderful ideas? Whats the secret.

DK: I was never short of such ideas since I became councilor in my constituency. It is very evident from the development I have done in my constituency.

Intv: Will you please elaborate on you definition of development? I think I dint get you.

DK: When great leaders like me think (its very rare that they think-Ed.), ordinary people like  you cant guess the far vision behind their thinking.

Intv : By ordinary people you mean to say aam adaami?

DK : AAm adami is not oridnary people, they are special people. Ihad a vision for my constituency. I specially invited people from hubali, Bhatakal to come and settle in Margao so that they can open shops and hotels in  Margao and my people will get employement there.

Intv: But your opposition says you allowed them to develop Goa’s biggest slums on MotiDongor and you did all this to develop a vote bank for yourself?

DK : Opposition is dumb. They try to defame me with political motives. And those are not slums those people are so selfless and dont want to come across goan’s right on the other land. So they stay only on motidongor with limited resources. If they start building big houses where will the aam adami stay?

Intv : Where does Aam Adami stay now? A report suggest more than 40% of establishements in Panaji and Margao are owned by non goans.

DK: 40% in minority Mr. Democracy goes with the rule of 50%. Since more than 50% of establishments belong to  Goans everything belongs to Goans. Because more than 20 MLA are with me the whole Goa belongs to me .. I mean us..

Intv : You left BJP because you had ‘Ghusmatmaar’. After all that has happened in your government do you feel the same Ghusmatmaar?

DK: (Cleaning the sweat on his forehead)  I am the chief minister now. I have AC in my cabin AC in my car. I don’t feel the Ghusmat any more. I feel free.

Intv: Whatdo you have to say about the state of roads in Goa.

DK: State of roads? I think it should be roads of state. All the roads belong to state.

Intv. I meant condition of the roads. People say they are pathetic!

DK: Those people are BJP men. The common man doesn’t need roads because he doesn’t own cars he travels by Kadamba buses. And kadamba buses dont need to travel on roads they can travel on any terrain. We have purposely not improved the condition of roads because it will discourage the rich people to buy car hence will keep plenty of road free to the aam aadami. Thats the logic.

Intv: What a Logic. Certainly Dayanand Narvekar must have suggested you this.

DK: No these days he is not suggesting anyhting. His IT park suggestion caused a lot of turmoil so these day I take suggestion from Vishavajit Rane.

Intv : Oh that means these day Vishvajit Rane is controlling the government?

DK: Thats not the right way to say it ! He just gives suggestions its a mere co-incident that I have accepted all his suggestions.

Intv: They say behind every successful man there is a woman. There aer many people behind you for different reasons who do you think is behind you to support you?

DK : Well no one can support from behind. One can be only back stabbed from behind. I have learned it from experience.  There is no woman behind me. The woman is on top of me and she has been responsible for every good thing that has happened to me , to the party and to the nation. Our PM Sonia Gandhi.

Intv : But our PM is Manamohan Singh?

DK : Oh sorry! Not so much in contact with him so forgot.

Intv.  Thank you Mantriji for your valuable Time. Thanks for the interview.

4 thoughts on “An interview with Digambar Kamat

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