अंधार.. दाटलेल्या आभाळांमधुंन वीजा चमकताहेत, गडगडाट होतो आहे, पाऊस कोसळतोय..
मन दाटलंय, दुरावलेल्या नात्यांची किंचित आठवण येऊन अश्रु ढासळताहेत.. अंधार होतोय.. – वर्धन
One of my friends wrote this on his wall on Facebook. I remembered what the same friend was humming 7 years back when we shared the same class in 1st year of our engineering.
ती गेली तेव्हा रिमझिम, पाऊस निनादत होता मेघांत अडकली किरणे, हा सूर्य सोडवित होता ती आई होती म्हणूनी, घनव्याकूळ मी ही रडलो त्यावेळी वारा सावध, पाचोळा उडवित होता [yoututbe]
Bollywood is supposed to have a genre called “rain songs”. Rain is generally related to positive feelings in the heart. Farmers love it’s arrival because it is expected to bring wealth for them. The greenery that it brings with it is supposed to make everyone happy.
The rain gives excuse for lovers to come together under one umbrella and for the things that may happen after that. Countless songs depict how rain can make romance interesting and sensual. Not just songs but there are so many movies that start with a dark rainy night. A movie like Chameli is all about what happened on one rainy night [Bheegi hui koi raat ho]. Kalidas’s Meghdoot starts on “Ashadhasya Prathama Divase” (First day of Ashadh month, supposed to be the day of arrival of rainy season).
But that’s not the only aspect of rain that’s captured by the imaginative part of society. Rain also represents longing. Nothing can fit better than the metaphor of Chatak bird’s thirst for rain drops to the longing and craving of a lover for her partner. This bird drinks only raindrops and nothing else and hence the remaining part of the year its thirsty and waiting for rain. Poets imagine that tortured by summer’s heat the earth craves for rain.
I don’t like rain. It makes me feel insecure. I can’t relate rain with love and passion neither with the feeling of longing. Rather the way Vardhan mentioned and the way Poet Grace wrote in the poem above, rain brings memories of people and relationships that are severed. It brings memories of things that are lost and I am not going to get back, EVER.
Like the million droplets of rain hitting earth’s surface under the influence of gravity, a million thoughts rush to my mind as soon as I hear that unique sound of droplets hitting earth. Just the way you cant isolate and catch a droplet, its impossible to concentrate on one single thread of thoughts.
Those droplets remind of the moments I lost. Things which I should have said, but I dint. Dreams I should have pursued but I dint. Failures I should have faced but I dint. Tears I should have wiped but I dint. Help I should have offered but I dint. I feel all those moments have now turned into droplets and the sound they make hitting the earth’s surface is nothing but they are laughing at me.
At a subtle level I can understand why rains make me nervous. This season often comes in June-July, the time when schools and colleges commence. The biggest changes of our life come during this time. One rainy season I had to leave my home and go at a distant place and stay there for a sake of comparatively better education. Another rainy season I had to leave that place and go somewhere else. One such season I met with an accident and once I was asked to shift to Pune. And just when I was settling I had to move to Mumbai while it was raining cats and dogs.
And also there are people whom I had lost when it was raining. They said goodbye to me when it was raining.